Drowned In Their Own Saliva

I googled the catchy phrase above, to see if there were any recorded cases. (My 45 second “research” is inconclusive and not enough to stop a blob... but it is not looking terribly likely.)

It does appear there are a lot of people who can give themselves a coughing fit by breathing their own saliva, but that’s old news. I’ve been able to do that for years. In fact, it’s contagious. The first time I did it in front of Emergency Contact, she thought I was a complete weirdo. But on learning that it could happen, she took it up with gusto.

The reason I’m out on the pointy end of science like this?

I’ve had a throat infection for the last few days and I’ve given up swallowing. At the same time, my salivary glands took this as a que to really put in. The phrase, ‘Produce enough saliva to drown a man with acute pharyngitis’ is unlikely to replace ‘to cut one’s nose off to spite their face’ in the short term, but I want it considered for down the track.

Over the last three nights, I've woken up every 30 seconds. I was either choking, drowning, or just being disturbed by the pain of swallowing.

I’ve had enough, I tells ya!

Actually, that’s why you’re getting a blob about it. I can’t tell you anything. It’s also driven me mute.

Emergency Contact thinks it’s brilliant.